


Borderline Suicide Stalker

by Japo_Chan23



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, suicidal character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 13:44:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Japo_Chan23/pseuds/Japo_Chan23
Summary: Reading Connor's supposed suicide note left Jared confused for literally three minutes before it dawned upon him that Connor didn't write jack shit and that was all Evan.





	Borderline Suicide Stalker

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening the Idubbbz ricegum disstrack while writing this. He never said "borderline suicide stalker", but he did say "you're a borderline sex offender" in the disstrack, so I went off from there lmao.
> 
> And w ow, no one's surprised, this is on the deh amino. :/

Despite everything, Jared always knew Evan was a good kid. Anxiety aside, he probably would've been an amazing activist that would've actually changed the world, hell Evan probably would've helped stop deforestation just for funsies. The kid had a lot of potential, but the anxiety always seemed to get in the way.   
  
A shame, really. He was nice and deserved better than friends than Jared fucking Kleinman, grade A douchebag and the teenage dirtbag Wheatus sang about.    
  
Point was, Jared sucked. He knew he sucked, and that he was a terrible person who hurt people as a way to protect himself. Weird mechanism, but hey, it worked. He was depressed, and the only way to make himself safe from getting even sadder was to put his walls up.    
  
You'd think a depressed person would be able to tell if a fellow prick was depressed as well. Like a gaydar but for depression. Depressdar.    
  
Especially if said depressed prick was the object of his affections, and lord knows Jared has the worst curse on the straightest boy he knows. Of course he does.    
  
Evan Hansen. Straight white boy with anxiety trademark.    
  
Who also was suicidal.    
  
“Fucking shit,” Jared mumbled, rubbing his forehead. This was a mess. He really shouldn't have involved himself with the entire email scandal, but he’d do anything in the name of love. Thanks Martin Garrix and Bebe Rexha.    
  
Back to the problem at hand: this whole mess made Jaded want to go out like Amy Winehouse. Especially after reading Connor’s “suicide note”.   
  
Even though he was an ass hundred percent of the time, he didn't think he would've been able to miss that. This. Evan’s feelings. All his emotional garbage, and whatnot.   
  
He could totally see how this could be seen as Connor, but it was so obviously Evan. Right down to the subtle hints of anxiety preventing him from talking to Zoe.   
  
Jared was thoroughly disgusted at that, but that was another matter for another time. Evan’s stalkerish tendencies with the youngest Murphy wasn't his business, but it was still disturbing to see/hear how much he knew about Zoe, despite never having actually talked to her.    
  
It was pretty creepy. Someone call Radiohead.    
  
Aside from that, Jared wasn't going to deny that the keys of his very expensive keyboard ended up slightly wet, and that the small rack filled with CD’s ended up hitting the other wall, with the CD’s on the floor.    
  
Jesus.   
  
Letter made him feel like shit. Of course he was going to recognize this as Evan’s- he caught glimpses of how Evan started it before, and the stalker part of it just screamed obvious.   
  
The suicide part, well. That was a different story, and a whole new playing field.    
  
It didn't make sense at all- he didn't even think that Evan was that depressed. He always figured that his depression was a side effect of his anxiety, for fucks sake. The kid has a good life- sure, his dad left him, but at least he wasn’t some teenage alcoholic that occasionally attends an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.    
  
It made him so mad. He should've saw the signs before Evan even thought that. Sure he never said he would kill himself, but if was implied, damnit. Jared hated himself for not seeing it sooner.   
  
God, he was so angry at Evan for not telling him.    
  
And that was were he just got sad. This whole cycle of emotions. He felt like Evan should've been able to trust him, to confide into him with anything and everything, but apparently not. Lowkey felt betrayed, but whatever. This was fucking fine. Getting used to pretend to be a dead kid, because Evan couldn't control his hormones and wanted to get close to jailbait and he apart of something.    
  
“God damnit Evan!” Jared shouted, stomping around in his room, rubbing at his eyes, trying to get rid of all these wet tears that blinded him and just ugh.    
  
For the next hour or so, he ended up trashing his room in a fit of anger or sadness. God, it was so fucked. Like, Mariana Trench “Toy Soldiers” kind of fucked and “Michael in the Bathroom” kind of sad. Damn these tears, damn Evan.    
  
He could've said something, which made him angry, but he was probably too much of an asshole to make Evan not trust him enough, which made him sad. And then the list goes on.   
  
There was another list that also went on, which consists of the amount of stuff he threw around, but that was fine too.   
  
Well. For now, anyways.    
  
He was still angry. Like a wet anger. A, “I care so much about this I start crying about it even though I’m mad” kind of angry.   
  
Jesus fuck man, if the police found out he had a hand in this, he hopes the repercussions weren't so bad.


End file.
